candidlycara:

GUYS THIS IS A REAL AD FOR THE GOVERNOR RACE IN THE STATE OF FLORIDA. PLEASE WATCH THIS!

I’m so glad they finally made an ad about dresses set up like a reality tv show so that my frail female brain can finally understand who to choose for governor! 

THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE AD THE CURRENT REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR OF FLORIDA RAN FOR HIS RE-ELECTION CAMPAIGN. RED ALERT. RED ALERT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 

(via the-mermaid-and-the-drunks)



socialjusticekoolaid:

I don’t care what someone else tries to tell you, your retweeting and reblogging matters. You’ve made a difference in Ferguson, in New York, in LA, and around the world by keeping these stories boosted and present. Don’t stop, ever. #staywoke #farfromover

socialjusticekoolaid:

I don’t care what someone else tries to tell you, your retweeting and reblogging matters. You’ve made a difference in Ferguson, in New York, in LA, and around the world by keeping these stories boosted and present. Don’t stop, ever. #staywoke #farfromover

(via the-mermaid-and-the-drunks)


puraxpura:

ninjanaomi:

castiel-on-top-of-the-tree:

rhamphotheca:

Help Our Turtle Friends!!!

NO NO NO NO
WRONG
SO VERY WRONG
LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG
IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND
SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING
IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.
IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.
IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.
PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.
THINGS TO REMEMBER:
-DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.
-DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.
-DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.
-DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.
-BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.
-WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
-DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.
-IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.
-SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.
WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.

it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.


I had a pet turtle in 4th grade and I knew better than this…

puraxpura:

ninjanaomi:

castiel-on-top-of-the-tree:

rhamphotheca:

Help Our Turtle Friends!!!

NO NO NO NO

WRONG

SO VERY WRONG

LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG

IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND

SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING

IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.

IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.

IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.

PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

-DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.

-DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.

-DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.

-DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.

-BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.

-WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

-DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.

-IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.

-SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.

WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.

it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.

I had a pet turtle in 4th grade and I knew better than this…

(via the-mermaid-and-the-drunks)


VIVA LA PLUTO


lolneincom:

Gotta love new features! (part 1)

lolneincom:

Gotta love new features! (part 1)

(via allons-yalexa)



prguitarman:

Summary of every episode of Steve Harvey Family Feud ever.

prguitarman:

Summary of every episode of Steve Harvey Family Feud ever.

(via allons-yalexa)


southerngothics:

the best thing about oitnb is that most of the inmates look realistically tired and unkempt and don’t wear makeup and then there’s laverne cox looking like she just walked off the red carpet 100% of the time

(via allons-yalexa)


brigwife:

Hufflepuffs are boring”

*waves Nymphadora Tonks in your general direction*

Hufflepuffs are stupid pushovers”

*drops Cedric Diggory’s dead body on top of you*

Hufflepuffs are shy”

*slaps you in the face with Ernie MacMillan*

Hufflepuffs are polite”

*fires Zacharias Smith at you out of a canon*

(via allons-yalexa)


cashmerecoffins:

gabifresh:

culturalappropriationon:

hardcorehousewife:

well dollskill was just taken off my list of all time favorite stores….

Unreal.

that email is almost worse than the headdress 

​That email borders the line of your scene/emo/omfg im so random u guis phase in cringeness

(via allons-yalexa)


mxcleod:


HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WIZARD?

This is an invite my father made for my seventh birthday party about ten years ago since Sirius was my favorite character, Prisoner of Azkaban was (and is) my favorite book and movie from the series, and I was undoubtedly in love with anything having to do with Harry Potter. 

mxcleod:

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WIZARD?

This is an invite my father made for my seventh birthday party about ten years ago since Sirius was my favorite character, Prisoner of Azkaban was (and is) my favorite book and movie from the series, and I was undoubtedly in love with anything having to do with Harry Potter. 

(via allteensrelate)


come-closer-vasilisa:

siddharthasmama:

whoismims:

Hong Kong’s protesters are using the same “hands up, don’t shoot” gesture used in Ferguson

tears in my eyes; solidarity arising from such horrible situations is bittersweet.

Well goddamn 😢

come-closer-vasilisa:

siddharthasmama:

whoismims:

Hong Kong’s protesters are using the same “hands up, don’t shoot” gesture used in Ferguson

tears in my eyes; solidarity arising from such horrible situations is bittersweet.

Well goddamn 😢

(via allons-yalexa)


panicatthesocialgathering:

EVERYBODY

image

SCREAM

image

IT’S

image

ALMOST

image

HALLOWEEN

image

(via allons-yalexa)


causeallidoisdance:

no-this-is-jarod:

they got mad


Green Day lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong wrote this about his father, who died of cancer on September 1st, 1982. At his father’s funeral, Billie cried, ran home and locked himself in his room. When his mother got home and knocked on the door to Billie’s room, Billie simply said, “Wake me up when September ends.”
So I’d be angry too if people kept this shit up every single year.

causeallidoisdance:

no-this-is-jarod:

they got mad

image

Green Day lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong wrote this about his father, who died of cancer on September 1st, 1982. At his father’s funeral, Billie cried, ran home and locked himself in his room. When his mother got home and knocked on the door to Billie’s room, Billie simply said, “Wake me up when September ends.”

So I’d be angry too if people kept this shit up every single year.

(via allons-yalexa)